If you’re already on the fence about wanting to take the first flight off of this planet, don’t read this article. It’s going to be that push you need to sell the house and grab the first red-eye to Mars.
It’s not a surprise that there are trashy people living among us. They’re our neighbors, co-workers, an even family members. We tolerate them because we have to, but now that space travel is becoming a thing, we may no longer have to. The people in this article are yucky, so stay strong.
I Want To Puke
There’s nothing worse then having to fly. Why? Well, because you can’t control how your flight is going to be. Yes, turbulence sucks, but crying babies suck more.
Yes, delayed flights suck, but people putting their dirty bare feet in your hair sucks more. Anyone who says that they enjoy flying is not a human.
When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go
I mean, I’m not one to judge (or at least I try not to), but I feel like there are better places to go to the bathroom.
Have you ever been so lazy that you just pee in the airport terminal? No? Me neither, but I kind of aspire to reach that level of not caring.
Goes Without Saying, Really
There are some things in life that just go without saying. Like, there doesn’t need to be a sign that tells you not to yell “FIRE” in a movie theatre.
Also, there shouldn’t be a need to have a “no babies” label on the side of a dumpster. Or, at least I hope.
The Trashiest Accommodations
Can you imagine living in an area where you actually have to put this display up?
I think that we’re burying the lead here. What is causing all of the customers to have an excess of saliva? I’m not a doctor, but this should get investigated by the spit police or something.
Stuart Little Too Late
It’s completely normal to mourn the death of your pets as a family. It’s not normal to show your kids the dead pet and then post their reaction on Facebook.
It’s incredibly trashy, but it’s unfortunately not out of the ordinary. People will literally post anything for likes on social media.
I don’t know about you, but this is all I would need to survive. You can literally get everything you’ll ever dream of from these two places.
Cheap food, cheap pillows, cheap blankets. What more could you ask for? This is absolutely a selling feature in a redneck neighborhood.
Okay, it’s official. We have out first alien sighting and it’s confirmed. It came to planet earth so that it could give birth.
We’re all doomed. If you see anyone with a foot like this, you NEED to report them to Area 51 somehow. Even if that means driving them there yourself. You might get lost but “just keep swimming”.
A Surprising Amount Of People Will Like Them
If you think this sign is directed at no one, you’re very wrong. There are many people who only want their heads and hands to be seen when they walk down the aisle.
You probably don’t believe me, so I’m going to have to dig in the vault and prove my point.
Here is an entire wedding party all with an assortment of camo on. You might not be able to see their bodies because they blend in very well.
I really hope that the entire party was able to keep a low profile. I’m sure they didn’t want any deer or turkey to see the ceremony.
There’s A Time And A Place
Look, if you want to be a model, you do you. There’s a lot of money to be made in the industry, just ask Tyra Banks and Kendall Jenner.
I just feel like there’s a time and place to strike your best pose. Grandpa’s grave, in my humble opinion, is not that place.
When You’re Trash, You’re Trash
After the way some of us act on a regular basis, we deserve to be thrown in the trashcan where we belong.
Like, this just got thrown out of the bar for puking in her hair and then eating it because she was hungry. She’s right where she belongs.
So There’s That…
I’m not Dr. Phil, but I do think that this is going to make the family reunions quite awkward.
I guess this girl can applaud herself for being the matchmaker for these two? We all have to learn to look on the bright side of life. We need to see the silver lining.
Well, That’s A Steal, Literally
First of all, just from a business standpoint — you’re selling yourself short, girl. She could be getting more bang for her buck.
Second of all, this is a very trashy way of getting a ring. With that being said, she is dead so she doesn’t really have any use for it anymore.
Oh Tinder, You Never Disappoint
Tinder, Tinder, Tinder. If you’re looking to find people who will use their children as bait to get a hook up, go on Tinder.
It’s completely fine to be a mom and be on Tinder, but maybe keep your children out of your pictures. I feel like the parenting police and I don’t even have kids.
I Really Dreaded This
The more places to hide things the better. Think about it, there’s never been a time that you’ll ever have TOO many pockets.
Yes, they might not look great aesthetically, but they do the job. Fashion trends are drifting towards less pockets being better, but we need to put our feet down and stop it.
Love clearly has no bounds. Well, in this case it kind of does, because these two literally can’t leave their house, but in most cases it’s boundless.
I mean, if you’re going to be on house arrest you might as well be with someone else on house arrest. Call me old fashion.
Remember when the kids were literally eating tide pods and putting it on their social media?
Yes, I never thought there would come a time when we would have to tell people to not eat Tide Pods for fun. Like, we have fruit that doesn’t taste like poison at our disposal.
Well, You Gotta Make Ends Meet
If you’re looking to give your kids the best Christmas ever, you do what you have to do. If that means getting pregnant and then selling the pregnancy tests to trashy women trying to keep their boyfriends, then that’s what you do.
I feel like there are other relationship counseling steps to be taken, but to each their own.
“Give Me Something I’ll Love Forever”
When the barber asks you what you want as a haircut, and you say “just give me something I’ll love,” this is what you’ll get.
I don’t think this will be an unpopular opinion for me to say that most of us love Coors Light. It might not be our beer of choice, but we’re not going to turn it down.
Only Get Tattoos Of What You Love
Look, with all of the weird tattoos people are getting now, this one is at least somewhat meaningful. I know you’re maybe thinking the opposite.
But, would you rather get a tat of a unicorn on your foot, or something you love on your back? Cheeseburgers never disappoint.